Our Story

And yes, that's a photo of me. Ok, it's not a recent photo, and I wasn't the physical specimen I am now. But it's still me, full of promise, looking forward to a wonderful, full life. And to lunch. 

While I can't say I was ever abused by my parents (although there was that one time I got the belt from my father, but I think he felt worse than I did), I was left on my own a lot. Maybe it was the time period, or growing up in the Army, but dads I knew didn't pay much attention to their kids. He was the disciplinarian. If he called my name, it wasn’t for anything good, and he was annoyed that he had to do it. Mom was a wonderful, quiet woman who tried hard to make up for him when she could, but that only went so far. My older sisters, who are my best friends, helped a great deal once I was older,  but they were busy doing the same thing I was in those early years.

 So I dealt with bullying, relationships, sex, jobs, fatherhood, etc. etc. with no one to discuss it with or learn from. Self confidence wasn’t a strong point. Trial and error (lots of errors) and the need to eat and keep a roof over my head and that of my family's were my learning tools and motivation. I was a much more active and attentive father than mine was, with lots of hugs, stories at bedtime, diaper changes, music lessons, riding lessons, pool activities, baseball in the driveway, parent teacher conferences, school trips, trips to the hospital, boy scouts, multiple trips to Disney and a week at the beach every summer. But I also made a lot of mistakes and dealt with some pretty harsh circumstances. A severly disabled child, grief, debt, divorce, cancer, loss. I know there are people who go through far worse, and I DO NOT claim to be an expert on how to get past those things. All I can tell you is I have used much of what you will see on this website to help me feel positive and confident. I'm much happier than I have ever been, and in a wonderful relationship with an amazing woman who has her own story which you will also find on this page!

My story is what inspired me to create a website that provides resources to those who struggle living in a toxic relationship or trying to recover from one. 

Healing presents itself in many ways whether through nutrition, exercise, counseling, meditation,  or through your faith. 

My father left when I was a teen and then I had to learn how to navigate a marriage as an adult that was abusive emotionally, physically, verbally, and financially. My husband controlled everyone and everything.  Refused his responsibilities for the children and so on. Adding his alcohol dependency, I feared leaving due to custody arrangements and he taking the children and driving while intoxicated.

I stayed.

As a result, my health suffered. Cancer, G.I. disease, anxiety, migraine headaches, high blood pressure, panic attacks, all from the stress my body had been under. I was constantly recovering and felt so alone. But, I was strong and I knew how to handle life's curveballs.

This was different. I  was sad for my children who had seen too much and knowing the image would always live with them. Just because I had gone through pain as a kid did I have to watch them go through it, too?

And then...I left. No money and no recent work experience since I was at home with the children. 

I wanted to use my personal experience to help others who are struggling to adjust to life under abusive or stressful circumstances. When you're feeling alone or needing a friend who has been there and actually understands. MaxPax is Latin for 'maximum peace.' We understand life is challenging and many of us are in search of peaceful resolutions in our lives and looking for a space to do just that. Unload that stress, know that you're in a place where you can be free to share your story with others. So many of us are going through the same thing. Every. Single. Day. MaxPax is a platform to share with each other and utilize resources available to continue your healing journey. We are everyday people. We are your neighbor, colleague, brother and sister. 

With the right tools and guidance, we can help you thrive and ultimately support you in your healing  journey.